T.B. Pasquale

There are many ways we find ache and pain in our lives. It might be traumatic experience, disordered living, eating, and processing the world around us, or addictive behaviors to mask pain or blot out the difficulties of just trying to survive. We have all known pain in some form in our lives. Whether the pain is emotional or physical, the trauma of pain hits us to our core.  We all hear the words sadness, heartbreak, fear, anxiety, and have some association in our own existence. We all carry in our heart the pain of something lost or some sadness—the severity of this pain and how it impacts our lives is the difference.

Trauma occurs when a person experiences a distressing event in their lives. Many things in human experience can be traumatic. Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) occurs when a person does not recover, “bounce back” from, or return to a normative level of functioning following a traumatic event. When your life is forever changed, marked, and impacted daily by the experience of the traumatic incident, and makes living difficult in a variety of realms (professionally, interpersonally, general enjoyment of life) then it has become a disordered way of life. It is a “normal reaction to an abnormal situation” that continues past the traumatic event and into present day living. You begin to live in a survival mode where the “fight or flight” instinct is constantly triggered by experiences in the outside world and your internal landscape is marked by hypervigilence, hyperarousal, anxiety, and other issues. Trauma can emanate from experiences of childhood trauma, sexual assault, domestic violence, combat experience, being a civilian in warzones, chronic illness and disease {physical and emotional pain which is so often tied together: whether from birthing, illness, injury, etc.} and many other arenas of life experience.

There are parts of many people’s eating habits that are disordered and many people’s behaviors that are addictive in nature. The diagnostic criterion for eating disorders and substance disorders are linked to below but it is important to see the addictive and disordered natures in all our lives—whether within diagnostic criteria or just habits and compulsions we use to hide other pains and aches. Addiction at its essence is a disease that feeds off one’s need to hide from the world, problems, and pains. Addiction and substance abuse/dependence issues are serious and must be treated with appropriate detoxification and rehabilitation in appropriate facilities of care. They must also be addressed not just in the addictive behavior but at a deeper level to find the impetus to use substances. We all mask our aches with something—peeling away those layers can work to treat the action but also the pain behind the action. Whether the action to mask or control pain is an eating disorder, substance abuse, or otherwise the root cause is pain and the pain must be dealt with in dealing with the disease.

We embody our pains so we must also be able to master embodying our own wellness—mind, body, and spirit. How? Below is a primer of information on mind/body wellness approaches and creative therapies. DOWNLOAD the BEYOND TALK E-BOOK for more expansive resources, information and tools.

The root to life and loss is often contained in our breath. We lose our breath, become breathless, when we experience pain, trauma, loss, grief, heartbreak. When we breathe consciously, thoughtfully, and deeply we find calm, grounding, and a decrease in anxiety. Relaxation exercises, guided imagery, yoga, tai chi, and dance are all ways in which breath is tied to movement and thought. In learning to breath healthfully and more fully people can learn the ways to calm and soothe themselves.

Often when we go through painful experiences we become stunted and our capacity to learn and grow is limited. In searching out activities and tasks that can bring a sense of creativity and competence to oneself we are able to change how we are in the world by also changing how we see ourselves in the world. Creative writing, arts, drama, sculpting, woodwork, horsemanship, and other skills and creative therapies can bring a sense of being capable and in that capacity comes motivation to THRIVE in the world and excel.

We have to care for ourselves—mind, body, and spirit. We must maintain our body with healthcare—holistic and western medicine can often work in tandem for whole wellness. We must address our mental state with therapy or mental health treatment that suits what ails us in our mind. We must quench our spirit with tapping into our soul and feeling what we yearn for at a spiritual level (to be discussed below). Massage, acupuncture, aromatherapy, and regular medical check-ups and maintenance are all examples of ways to take care of your body inside and out.

We tend to live in the past or the future—the present is often forgotten and lost in the midst of chaotic thoughts propelling forward or backward in time. Mindfulness is an approach to life that can extend to everything from eating to driving to working to interacting with others. The more we learn to live in the moment and experience life as it comes the more satiated we are by our life experiences, the more viscerally we feel today every day, and the better capable we are at controlling our own mind processes. When we are not preoccupied as much with what was or what will be we can find contentment in what is—right now. Mindfulness practices and exercises can help in learning techniques to taking our time with life, taking in the moment we are in, and being aware of what we are doing NOW.

We are social creatures by nature. Humans crave, even when we fight it at our very core, the contact, affection, and intimacy of companionship. When we shut ourselves down to the outside world—from traumatic experience, addiction and substance use, disordered eating, and other mental and emotional blocks—we keep ourselves on the outside of a very important part of human existence. Creating relationships can be a difficult process to begin when we have spent so much time in avoidance and isolation but there are ways to baby-step towards human interaction. Animal-human bond oriented therapies (equine facilitated psychotherapy and canine assisted therapy),horticulture therapies, and other means of creating relationship with living beings are some examples of ways people can inch themselves slowly back towards contact and enjoyment of other people.

What do we believe in? What has meaning to us? These are important factors in being motivated for LIFE. We have to have reason to move forward and answer at some level to the existential questions: “What is the meaning of life? Why am I here?” Spirituality whether it be through conventional religious affiliations, private prayer, or belief and faith in something are essential parts of creating a life of meaning. People want to have purpose and meaning and give some of the burden of life up to something else outside of themselves. Faith can rebuild broken parts of the self and part of the process of growing and finding wellness within can be in finding what we believe in. Spiritual rituals or personally created rituals can be a healthy way to process grief, loss, and mourn lost people in our lives or even lost parts of ourselves.

Leave a Reply

Name (required)

Mail (will not be published) (required)

Website