Kapalabhati Canter

Goodbye Boundary Goats. Aloha Sonoita. Hello Challenges.

June 8th, 2010

(ABOVE: ME, ANN, DEBRA & KATHY at XANADU RANCH B&B)

“He who lets the goat be laid on his shoulders is soon after forced to carry the cow.”

Italian Proverb

LIFE IN STRIDE: WALKING, TROTTING, & CANTERING INTO CERTITUDE

My time at the “Riding Your Way Into A Mutual Relationship” workshop brought a flooding of insights, clarities, and a chance to practice advanced mental yoga–really getting my mind into a centered and unshakable rhythm. Kathy, one of the other workshop participants created the term “Om Trot” to describe a trot that one can really breathe into. In Nancy’s (my favorite yogini/psychiatrist) urging me to practice Kapalabhati exercises while I was desperately trying to convince my elderly steed Max that a canter might be a good idea she created a spontaneous practice that I will now call the “Kapalabhati Canter”. It seems to me that there is yoga in every step, every breath, and every motion of riding. From what our feet say about the emotions contained in our body, to what a reflective round pen session can tell us about how we define our relationships in life, to how we sit on the back of the horse and how we breath into the stride of a trot or a canter can say about what we relay to another breathing being. All I see when I look at the equine-human experience is yoga in every touch and every hoof beat.

The more I see what is wrong for me in life the more certain I am of what is right; perhaps life experience is a process of elimination getting to what works by way of all the stuff that doesn’t. My certitude in what I believe persists, even, and especially, in the face of dealing with a lot that I do not want clouding the path to my destination. We must walk before we run. We must trot before we canter. I feel that I am in the early trot of my life. I know I want to canter, I am certain of what feels right, but for now I am just trying to find my groove in the Om Trot of my life–and trying to enjoy the pace.

BOUNDARY GOATS, GOODBYE.

My feeling, as someone whose bulk experience with horses is in the form of groundwork (as a novice rider and one working primarily with the therapeutic relationship groundwork is so rich for exploring how we feel and act in the world and with horses), is that there are profound levels of self-awareness and relational connectedness that can be explored when one is face-to-face with a horse. This is true face-to-horse and it is also true, as I found in impromptu case studies, face-to-goat.

As the above quote says, “Those of us who let goats be laid on our shoulders…” and I have, historically, been one to let goats be laid on my shoulders. Well, not literally, until Sonoita. I take on all I can take and then I take whatever is left over and although I constantly remind my patients about self-care, setting boundaries, laying down what is ok in our lives in clear lines, when it comes to my life I am constantly being reminded that I need to take the goats off my shoulders and sometimes just say “No”. And, as animals are great barometers for boundaries I am constantly reminded by the furry counterparts in my life that I need to be firmer when I draw my lines. My dogs remind me. Horses remind me. And even these tempestuous boundary goats in Sonoita reminded me–set the line and be firm or you’ll end up with a goat nuzzling all over your shoulder…and even without horns that can be “ouch”. So whether metaphoric or literal goats I think we all have to be conscious of when we need to say no in our lives–when we need to take the goat off our shoulders. And when in Sonoita be careful of goats with a penchant for nuzzling that might just reveal your inner boundary issues.

IF YOU WANT A BIT OF A LAUGH WATCH THIS VIDEO CLIP: A Boundary Goat & A Pup With A Napoleon Complex

ALOHA SONOITA, HELLO CHALLENGES.

I feel as though I could write about 50 posts just on my time in Sonoita, Arizona. The people, the experiences, the palpable profundities. But I can’t. Life and blogs continue at a pace that leave little time for too much for too long and too in-depth. Which is why, as I knew it would, my Arizona experience which falls on the precipice of another realm of my work, passion, and dream of what can be, will be a lengthier exploration in my book. I am excited to get working on the equine chapters of my memoir and taking my 21 day challenge of 800 words a day as a provocation to get my literary butt in gear–memoir-wise. I am glad to have a booklength work to be able to go into the nuances of past, present, and future of this journey of mine far beyond the span of what blogging allows. That said, I want to give Sonoita and my time there a great blogosphere Aloha–not a goodbye, not a hello but somewhere in the linguistic in-between where, like aloha, this post will be goodbye and hello all in one. In leaving Arizona I felt myself beginning something new and so Aloha describes it best.

The greatest thing I take away from my time in the desert–above and beyond intellectual and emotional pursuits–is the human connections and dear friendships I believe where born on the mat, in the saddle, and everywhere in-the-twain. Even at “Steak Out”–restaurant appropriately named for it’s array of meats and one veggie burger (I am going to be honest, all those meats and I nearly had a filet mignon relapse!)–where after 3 days that felt like both too short and also forever we all gathered, workshop leaders and participants alike, to laugh and jabber about passions, writings, and the future of equine facilitated practices. I feel like I have met a wonderful collective of kindred spirits–with visions of stables dancing in their heads, same as mine, and a few new yogini converts to boot.

I received a wonderfully passionate email from Debra, also a workshop participant (and “Om Trot” Kathy’s girlfriend and proud human-horse “mama” of Sonoki–beautiful and smart young horse with a bright future indeed), in which she gushed excitedly about her passion and the work her and Kathy were doing to make their dreams living and breathing creations. I was so excited for her and so happy to know another passionate soul following their dream. At the end of her email she surprised me with some beautiful things she had to say about me, my dreams, and my passion. Being, personally, in a place where life is overshadowing dreams this past month to hear these words from a friendship forged in 3 days (and an eternity) was moving beyond words–although I can’t help but word-y it up anyway. I am very appreciative of her email coming just when I needed to hear those things–and wonderful to come as I round out the Sonoita blog post excursion.

And just when I thought the Arizona collective had said its piece for today’s blog piece I got the following blog comment from Shelley, in response to THE 21-5-800 CHALLENGE: ”Ok I’m in for the challenge. Only mine will be five rides, 800 words, 21 days!”

All I had to say in reply was, “It better be full of Om Trots!”

WORD COUNT FOR TODAY’s POST=1286 WORDS (I have posted my quota for today and now I am going to give myself a relaxing Savasana before bed…thank you CHALLENGE for giving me what I need!) Don’t worry I will not be filling my quota daily with posts–tomorrow I am working on a book chapter instead!